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DO
Project calmness. Move and speak slowly, quietly and confidently.
Be an empathetic listener. Encourage the person to talk. Listen patiently.
Focus your attention on the other person. Let him know you are interested in
what he has to say.
Maintain a relaxed, and yet attentive posture. Position yourself at a right
angle rather than directly in front of the other person.
Acknowledge the persons feelings. Indicate that you can see he or she is
upset.
Ask for small, specific favors, such as asking the person to move to a quieter
area.
Establish ground rules if unreasonable behavior persists. Calmly describe the
consequences of any violent behavior.
Use delaying tactics Give the person time to calm down. For example, offer a
drink of water (in a disposable cup).
Be reassuring and point out choices. Break big problems into smaller, more
manageable problems.
Accept criticism in a positive way. When a complaint might be true, use
statements like "Youre probably right" or "It was my fault". If
the criticism seems unwarranted, ask clarifying questions.
Ask for his recommendations. Repeat back to him what you feel he is requesting
of you.
Position yourself, so that a visitor cannot block your access to an exit. |
DO NOT
Use styles of communication that generate hostility, such as apathy, brush off,
coldness, condescension, going strictly by the rules or giving the run-around.
Reject all of his remarks from the start.
Pose in challenging stances, such as standing directly opposite him, hands on hips,
or crossing your arms. Avoid physical contact, finger pointing or long periods of fixed
eye contact.
Make sudden movements that can be seen as threatening. Check the tone, volume
and rate of your speech.
Challenge, threaten or dare the individual. Never belittle or make the person
feel foolish.
Criticize or act impatiently toward the agitated individual.
Attempt to bargain with a threatening individual.
Try to make the situation seem less serious than it is.
Make false statements or promises you cannot keep.
Try to impart a lot of technical or complicated information when emotions are
high.
Take sides or agree with distortions.
Invade the individuals personal space. Make sure there is a space of
3 to 6 between you and the person.
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